Wipe Out the Narcissism Infection

ByMelanie Newton Colossians | Healthy Living
Wipe out the narcissism infection
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Do you feel entitled to do anything you want to do and entitled not to do anything you don’t want to do? Are you promoting yourself so much that you actually do damage to anyone who does not bolster your image? If you answered “yes” to those questions, you might have caught the Narcissism infection. This is post #10 in our Healthy Living series from Colossians. In this article, we will see how to wipe out the Narcissism infection and stay spiritually healthy in an unhealthy world.

Listen to this post as a similar podcast from our  Healthy Living Bible Study of Colossians and Philemon:

What is the Narcissism infection?

An article appeared in the news feed several years ago that declared our society is “raising a generation of deluded narcissists.” Instead of assuming I understood what that meant, I wanted to know the difference between plain old self-centeredness and narcissism. We all have some self-centeredness in us.

I discovered that narcissism is way beyond just being self-centered. It is an unhealthy self-focus so centered on promoting oneself that it does damage to anyone who does not bolster one’s image. The “deluded” aspect refers to the impact of today’s media and technology that allows children, youth, and adults to become pretend celebrities and lead actors in their own fictionalized stories. You wonder if any long-term good can really come out of that. I see more bad results than good ones, especially to relationships and community. It leads to the belief that you are entitled to do anything you want to do and entitled not to do anything you don’t want to do (as in the demand for “safe zones” on college campuses). It is very self-focused but easily spreads to others to make them self-focused as well. That is why I call it a narcissism infection.

This infection is transmitted by any system of thought that teaches people to put their own needs first and to focus on feeling good about themselves. That leads into not following established social rules. It is also detrimental to any kind of community building which encourages looking to others’ needs over your own. You can recognize the narcissism infection when what someone says or does communicates to the world, “It is all about me.”

In his book, No Jerks On The Job, my husband Ron Newton described several things that we do to encourage self-centeredness in our society. One is tolerating and even promoting adolescent behavior in adults. Another is dumbing-down the definition of what we consider acceptable youth behavior. Both of these ideas stem from parenting children in a manner that promotes self-centered personal growth. Such nurturing of self-centeredness in the home is like a virus multiplying itself in a host cell in our bodies until the cell explodes and releases the virus to infect millions of other cells. Narcissism is an infectious virus. And it feeds on our natural tendency to let self be our master in life. That is where we are most susceptible to this infection.

The flesh focuses on self and wants to master you.

The Bible says that we are born sinful since the fall of Adam. This means that we are born with only sinful tendencies and no ability to be continually “good” or righteous on our own. What we call “human nature,” the Bible calls “the flesh.”

The flesh is a pretty powerful force. It is driving force is Self. Jesus described this powerful force in Mark chapter 7.

He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (Mark 7:20-23)

The work of the flesh is obvious and ugly.

Paul also described the evidences of the flesh in Colossians chapter 3.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices (Colossians 3:5-9)

Again, the work of the flesh is obvious and ugly. After you become a Christian, the flesh is at war with the Spirit of God within us. The flesh focuses on self and wants to master you.

In Romans chapter 6, Paul equates the flesh with sin and calls it a slave master. I think we have all studied history enough to have a concept of what slavery is. What we may not realize is that every human being has a master and is a servant to something—either God and His righteousness or sin and its wickedness. There is no neutral ground. You might think you are your own master, but you are not. Self is really following the voice of master sin within. Did you bristle when you read that?

I have great news for you. Jesus Christ sets every believer free from the power of self.

Jesus Christ sets you free from the power of self.

All of your life before trusting in Christ, the old slave master sin called the shots. When you believed in Jesus, a greater power moved in—the Holy Spirit. He sets you free from the power of that old slave master to become what God intended you to be. Remember that is called redemption.

But you are not set free to be your own master. That is not what it means to be set free. Your options are still to serve self or to serve God. But you are finally dead to sin and self as your only master. You are set free to enjoy your new identity and relationship with your new master Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit is living inside of you, wooing you to live a life that pleases God and away from “self” ruling your behavior. Jesus Christ sets you free from the power of self. Christ as our Lord stops our destructive anger, rage, hate, lies, and other self-centered actions. He wipes out the narcissism infection with His power.

Jesus wipes out the narcissism infection with His power.

Jesus Christ gave His life for you so He could give His life to you so He could live His life through you. That is what He does. Submitting to Jesus Christ to let Him live His life through you wipes out the narcissism infection.

What does that look like? Paul described that in Colossians chapter 3 as well.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:12-17)

What a difference!

You know these are not natural behaviors. Someone with the narcissism infection will be haughty, non-empathetic, manipulative, and envious. She won’t be compassionate, humble, and forgiving. The unselfish behaviors in verses 12-17 are hard to do and do not come naturally to us. That is why Paul wrote this,

To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me. (Colossians 1:29)

It is Christ’s power in us that enables us to be completely humble and forgiving as we trust Him to work in and through us.

Colossians 3:15 says that Christ gives you peace in your heart. You are to let that rule your actions like an umpire saying to anger, “You’re out!” and to kindness, “You’re safe!” Christ becomes Lord over your behavior. In Colossians 3:17, we are reminded to do everything we say or do in light of Jesus as Lord.

When you are letting Jesus Christ rule in your heart, that is letting Him live His life through you. The results are peace, gratitude, joy, and giving glory to God rather than to yourself. The difference will be obvious in anyone being healed from the narcissism infection.

Submit to Christ as Lord over you.

Jesus Christ is Lord over everything, including your sense of self and your behavior. As Lord over your behavior, He is powerful enough to change your self-centered behavior into others-focused behavior that pleases Him. But you must choose to submit to Him as Lord rather than to yourself. Jesus deserves it!

Life is not all about you. It is all about Him. And He can wipe out the influence of the narcissism infection on you and on me.

As Paul wrote in Colossians,

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.(Colossians 2:8)

A spiritual infection takes you captive to something other than Christ. The Narcissism infection is bad. In fact, it can be deadly to yourself and to others around you. Knowing the truth of God’s grace that you have in Jesus Christ gives you an immune system that wipes out this spiritual infection. Let Jesus satisfy your heart needs with His truth and His love so you can get well and stay well.

Learn more about staying spiritually healthy in an unhealthy world through our Healthy Living Bible Study of Colossians and Philemon (11 lessons). 

Read other articles in this Healthy Living series. The next one is Counter the “Work Is Secular” Infection.

Image credit: sourced from a template at canva.com.

AI was not used to generate this post.

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