Overcome the “Mean Spirit” Button
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Do you know people who are just mean in word and behavior, even those claiming to be Christians? Sin still pushes the “mean spirit” button in many of us so that we respond to others with unkindness without ever recognizing how wrong that behavior is for a believer. How do we overcome that “mean spirit” button in ourselves and others?
The Reality of Mean-Spirited Christians
The children of godly, loving parents don’t always take on the loving characteristics of their parents. The same is true of God’s children. Christians can choose to be unkind and sometimes just plain mean. The sad result is that those who don’t know Jesus as their Savior often point to the unkind Christians they know and say, “Why should I join your team? I am nicer than she is!”
This topic of mean-spirited people came up in a class I was teaching about intentionally connecting with the nonbelievers in your life to show them who Christ is. They are observing your life. The hope is what they see will lead them to faith in Christ and help them to grow in their faith.
Read the blog, “Connect: Build Intentional Relationships with Nonbelievers” for help with connecting with nonbelievers in your life.
During the class, I asked the women to think of ways to connect with their nonbelieving co-workers. One of the dear women in my class asked, “What do I say to that upset co-worker because another woman in the office who declares herself a Christian is mean and continually hurts the feelings of the one who doesn’t know Christ?” Great question.
The rest of the women in the class joined in the discussion. From their experiences, it was sadly evident this was not an isolated case!
So what do you say? There is always the simple response, “Christians are not perfect. We are all sinners.” However, that doesn’t soothe hurt feelings, especially if that Christian co-worker never confesses her wrong attitude and apologizes. Right?
The Freedom to Choose Ungodly Behaviors
Something we must recognize is that we all have blind spots in our lives. There are those areas where we practice behaviors that were perhaps modeled for us without facing up to the reality that those behaviors are wrong.
When we are sensitive to the Spirit of God’s leading in our lives, He will reveal those bad behaviors to us, especially as we renew our minds with God’s Word.
Here is one example from Ephesians:
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
This verse reminds us to be kind because God was first kind to us in forgiving us through what Jesus has done for us.
If you cannot appreciate God’s forgiveness of your many sins, you won’t appreciate His kindness to you and won’t desire to emulate it.
Here is another example:
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:5-6)
We are to season our conversation with grace so our words invite others to want to know Jesus.
If you aren’t in awe and basking in God’s amazing grace to you, you won’t be extending His grace to others so they will want to live in His grace too.
Yet, we know that not all runners choose to become marathoners. We recognize that not all cooks choose to become chefs. It is also true that not all Christians choose to be kind, loving, compassionate grace-givers. Being kind is still a choice.
Although we have been redeemed from the slave market of sin by Jesus’ finished work on the cross, that old slave master “sin” still calls our name. Sin still pushes the “mean spirit” button. And out of habit, Christians can respond with mean words and actions.
Mean Spirits Are Not True to Who We Are
So what do you say to the nonbeliever who is disturbed by the mean-spirited Christian?
You can remind them that children don’t always obey even the best of parents. God’s children are dearly loved. Yet some of God’s dearly loved children still choose to not love others the way they are loved. They are being disobedient to their Father God. If you cannot appreciate how much you are loved, you won’t extend God’s love to others.
That Christian co-worker with the mean spirit is missing all the joy of showing the kindness of Jesus to others and enjoying a friendship with her co-workers. She is refusing to recognize her meanness and its effect on her co-workers, especially in the name of Christ.
As a believer who does care for your co-worker, you can say this, “Sadly, she has chosen to not let the joy of being on God’s team overflow to us. But I have not. God fills my heart with love for you as my friend. And if you join His team through faith in Christ, He will fill your heart with His love and joy that will overflow to others if you choose to let it.”
Are You the One with the “Mean Spirit?”
What if you recognize yourself as having a mean spirit? Are you the one causing others to cry?
Paul addressed this in Ephesians 4:29, a verse that every Christian should memorize.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Think about what you say to those around you and how you respond to them. Ask yourself: “What did I say that was building them up and beneficial to them? Or am I just blowing off steam in a mean way?”
Maybe you have fallen into a bad habit of mean words. If so, stop such rotten talk. Now. Today. Talk to the Lord about it. Use this biblical process for dealing with recognized sin. Know that you can’t do this on your own. Depend on Him to help you overcome your own mean spirit. Then, watch what He does!
Remember this: GOD’S OVERFLOWING LOVE OVERCOMES the “mean spirit” button every time.
Related Resources:
- Healthy Living Bible Study of Colossians
- Colossians blog series
- Seek the Treasure Bible Study of Ephesians
- Ephesians 4:29 • Christian, Stop the Rotten Talk!
AI was not used to generate this post.