2 Corinthians 1:12-2:13 • Depending on God in the Pain of Relationships

Have you been in a position where you were misrepresented by others and as a result also misunderstood by someone in close relationship to you? Suffering can come from within the circle of those whom you love the most. Misunderstandings, behavioral conflicts, and slanderous information from others can cause hurt feelings and mistrust. Whom would you trust to help with the pain of relationships? In the last article, we focused on why we can have confidence in our God so that we will want to depend on Him more than on ourselves. This is post #3 in the God-Dependent Woman blog series. We will cover 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:13 and look at how we can depend on God as we experience the pain of relationships.

Listen to this post as a similar podcast from The God-Dependent Woman Bible Study covering 2 Corinthians in the New Testament. (11 lessons)

Suffering Drives Us to God for Comfort

The God who comforts you understands the many kinds of suffering you undergo in daily life. Although Paul wrote about the persecution he and his friends experienced that made them fear for their lives, suffering does not only come from persecution, from physical danger, or from outside your circle of friends. Suffering can also come from within the circle of those whom you love the most. Misunderstandings, behavioral conflicts, and slanderous information from others can cause hurt feelings and mistrust.

Regardless of the source, suffering drives us to dependence on God. We set our hope on Him more than ourselves. We see His love and grace given to us. We trust Him to work in the situation and give thanks. We learn how we can depend on Him in the pain of broken relationships. That is dependent living.

What is the opposite of dependent living? According to 2 Corinthians 1:12-17, it is relying on worldly wisdom and making plans in a worldly manner. What does that mean?

First, let us look at avoiding worldly wisdom.

Avoid Relying on Worldly Wisdom

Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace. For we do not write you anything you cannot read or understand. (2 Corinthians 1:12-13)

The context of Paul’s words are misunderstandings between the Corinthians and himself because of what other people are saying against him. He wants them to remember and recognize that he acted with integrity and sincerity from the Lord in all his dealings with them. He did not use what he called “worldly wisdom.”

Worldly

The term “worldly” refers to something that proceeds from the flesh rather than the Spirit. The flesh is that part of the human nature that is controlled by sin.

Paul wrote this in Romans chapter 8,

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires … The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:5-8)

The flesh is at war with God. It does not want to submit to God’s way of approaching life. It does not want to please God nor can it do so. Considering we are talking about humanity running the world, “worldly” means humanistic—what humans determine to do in opposition to God.

Worldly wisdom

Wisdom refers to knowledge, intelligence, and learning. That is neutral. You can have godly wisdom or worldly wisdom. You recognize worldly wisdom through knowing what God’s way of approaching life is. You get to know God’s way through studying the Bible and responding to the Holy Spirit’s teaching you from the inside.

Paul alludes to recognizing worldly wisdom in 2 Corinthians 1:13 when he said this, “We do not write you anything you cannot read or understand.” Worldly wisdom likes to use persuasive and haughty words to gain influence and control over someone who is “less learned.”

Paul said he made sure to write words that the Corinthians could read and understand. That is transparency and godly wisdom. He did not use legalese or haughty language that would make them feel stupid. They could trust what he wrote them from a distance because they knew him. He said what he meant and meant what he said. Nothing tricky. No twisting of Scriptures.

Beware of using worldly wisdom

Like Paul, we must beware of using worldly wisdom in dealing with people or even teaching them about matters pertaining to God. Speaking truth from the Bible and using God-given logic is good. Compromising with their ideas in order to feel accepted is not.

Paul said he did not use or rely on worldly wisdom in his relationship with the Corinthians. He also said that he did not make his plans in a worldly manner.

Avoid Making Plans in a Worldly Manner

Because I was confident of this, I wanted to visit you first so that you might benefit twice. I wanted to visit you on my way to Macedonia and to come back to you from Macedonia, and then to have you send me on my way to Judea.  Was I fickle when I intended to do this? Or do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say both “Yes, yes” and “No, no”? But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not “Yes” and “No.” (2 Corinthians 1:15-18)

Worldly manner

What does it mean to make plans in a worldly manner? From 2 Corinthians 1:15-18, Paul is referring to making promises that you cannot keep or will not keep. That would be making promises just to pacify someone. It is lying to them.

Godly Manner

How do you make plans in a godly manner? After all, we don’t know the future. James chapter 4 gives us some direction on that,

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)

Making plans is not wrong. But we need to leave them in God’s hands to determine whether that plan is His will or not. Paul made plans but left them in the Lord’s hands.

¹⁹ They arrived at Ephesus, where Paul left Priscilla and Aquila. He himself went into the synagogue and reasoned with the Jews. ²⁰ When they asked him to spend more time with them, he declined. ²¹ But as he left, he promised, “I will come back if it is God’s will.” Then he set sail from Ephesus. (Acts 18:19-21)

This is dependent living.

Make Plans in a Godly Manner

The process for making plans

Whenever you need to make plans about things that will matter, follow this process which is similar to the process for making godly decisions:

• Align yourself with the purposes of God as described in His Word.
• Consider options that also align with the purposes of God.
• Ask God for direction and for Him to show you the best choice.
• Submit to God’s direction and be confident in that. We all make plans for the future. It’s okay to make plans after you have assessed that they align with the purposes of God. But remember to…
• Hold your plans loosely and submit to any changes that God makes along the way. That is a huge part of dependent living.

Paul stated plainly to the Corinthians that he was not being fickle. He made plans to visit them, but God led him to change the plans and write a letter instead.

I call God as my witness—and I stake my life on it—that it was in order to spare you that I did not return to Corinth. Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm. (2 Corinthians 1:23-24)

If you have conducted yourself with integrity and godly sincerity, others will have no basis to not trust you even when they are disappointed your plans involving them don’t work out.

When God changes your plans

Remember this if God does change your plans: Stay focused on who you are and what God is doing in your life rather than being disappointed because things don’t go your way.

God always follows through with the plans that He has for every believer. He guarantees our salvation from His wrath against sin, our inheritance in Christ, and our redemption one day from this body of sin and death. Those plans will never change. He is a trustworthy God. We can submit to His direction for our plans. We can be trustworthy representatives of our trustworthy God when we are relying on Him more than on ourselves. It is a win/win.

Reconcile Relationships in a Godly Manner

Yet, people will get disappointed. Broken relationships do hurt. Paul longed to be reconciled to the Corinthians.

So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you. For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved? I wrote as I did, so that when I came I would not be distressed by those who should have made me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you. …  Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, ¹in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:1-4, 9-11)

Paul heard of their misunderstanding of his intentions. Not being with them face-to-face caused him great distress, anguish of heart, and many tears because he loved them so much. Yet, he continued to teach them truth and to demonstrate his love for them from a distance. He did not get all huffy and give up on them.

When our feelings are hurt and cause pain in relationships, we need to learn how to reconcile those relationships in a godly manner. That also requires depending on the Lord to show us how and to give us the patience to do it right. We must depend on Him to be able to forgive those who have hurt us. And God gives us comfort through the process.

Do you get why Paul started off this letter with praising God for comfort? It was not just being delivered from the jaws of death. It was the comfort God gave him while he waited to hear from Titus about the Corinthians.

This happens to us today. Have you ever sent an email affirming your love to someone who is currently mad at you and not hearing any word back from them? What thoughts go through your mind? It is agonizing. But if you have relied on the Lord for the wording of the email, the best you can do is trust in Him for the response.

This leads me to our saying to evaluate for this post …

Does Depending on God Mean You Will Never Be Sad Again?

A popular saying on social media teaches this, “Depend only on God for your happiness, and you’ll never be sad again.” It sounds nice and cozy. But is it true or false?

Happiness or joy?

The first part sounds like it fits our theme. But you would need to define happiness. Most people define happiness as a feeling when you are smiling and laughing a lot. They think that happiness comes from “good happenings.” Good happenings mean everything is going your way, turning out right. You have lots of money. You are healthy. You are very successful in work or school. Right?

But what happens if things are not so good? Your family is stressed financially. You may be struggling in work or school. Your relationships are fraying. You or someone close to you is very sick. Happiness often disappears then.

God does not promise us that kind of happiness. He does promise us joy. Biblical joy refers to having a deep inner gladness, regardless of the circumstances going on around you. That means whether you are rich or poor, sick or healthy, successful or struggling, you can still have a feeling of gladness or pleasure deep down inside. Biblical joy is supernatural. It is inseparable from the character of God and comes only from a relationship with Him. Biblical joy is a fruit of the Spirit of Jesus living in us. That means joy is available to every Christian 24/7.

Is sadness bad?

But the second part of the saying is the troubling part. “You’ll never be sad again.” Sadness is not a bad thing. Perfectly sinless Jesus was sad at times as He grieved over death and over Jerusalem’s rejection of Him. He experienced human sadness by His own choice. Sadness over sin is a good thing. It leads to repentance and reconciliation of relationship with God. Sadness over broken relationships leads to doing everything to reconcile that relationship.

Paul was sad that his relationship with the Corinthians was broken. It grieved him and led him to do everything he could to reconcile the relationship. God put us in human community. We are not isolated. Relationships can bring joy as well as sadness.

So, we can depend on God for our joy not necessarily for happiness from only good happenings coming our way. And depending on God does not eliminate the possibility of sadness in our lives. That statement is false. Delete it from your digital files and Facebook feed.

Reasons why God wants us to depend on Him more than on ourselves

From 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:13, we get these reasons to depend on God:

• We get distracted and disappointed when things don’t go as we plan. (1:17)
• He is faithful to His promises to us. (1:20)
• He owns us and lives in us. (1:22)
• To reconcile relationships rightly when our feelings are hurt. (2:1-4)          
• To execute tough love when a Christian is deliberately sinning. (2:5-10)
• To keep Satan from getting an advantage over us. (2:11)   

In the next post, we will look at how we are being transformed into the aroma of Christ.

Let Jesus satisfy your heart with confidence that you can depend on Him. Then, live each day as a God-dependent woman!

All the above information is covered in The God-Dependent Woman Bible Study of 2 Corinthians.

AI was not used to generate this post.