Romans 14-15: Balance Liberty with Love

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How well do you love others who do things differently from you? God inspired Paul to address that very question in Romans 14 and 15. Four hundred years after Paul wrote Romans 14, a godly man wisely said in response to its message, “In essentials, Unity, in non-essentials, Liberty, in all things, Love.” Even before Paul, Jesus had boiled down all of the Old Testament teaching into just two statements: Love the Lord God with everything you’ve got, and love your neighbor as yourself. More specifically, He told His disciples to love one another well. Christians are to be a love-bonded community. This post will show from Romans 14 and 15 how you can balance your liberty in Christ with love for your Christian brothers and sisters.

Listen to this post as a similar podcast:

The Goal Is a Love-Bonded Community

Jesus Christ brings liberty. But with liberty comes responsibility. To enjoy our liberty without offending one another within a love-bonded community, we must balance liberty with love. Jesus told His disciples this,

“By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

Christians are to be a love-bonded community. How well we love makes Jesus look good or bad. It’s so important because that’s what the outside world sees. And based on the impression we give them, they make a judgment about Jesus. It’s our love-bond that brings glory to God. Issues that bring us into conflict test our love—for God and one another. It’s highly probable that you and I may conflict on our interpretation of God’s will on issues not specifically addressed in the Bible, especially in the New Testament. How should we then respond to each other?

In Romans, Paul reveals that Christians are not under the Jewish Law given by God through Moses that governed the daily life of every Israelite. The Jewish Law was not given to the Gentiles, not to the Church, and not to the United States. It was given only to the nation Israel. We are free from bondage to that Law and its religious practices as well as the guilt it produced.

Christ brings liberty. But with liberty comes responsibility. To enjoy our liberty without offending one another within a love-bonded community, we must balance liberty with love. What is written in Romans 14:1-15:7 shows us how to do this.

Balancing Liberty Begins with Acceptance (Romans 14:1; 15:7).

Notice how our passage begins and ends:

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. (Romans 14:1)

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

“Accept one another.” That tells me that we might not accept someone for a particular reason. What reason? The Scripture says, “accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.” Some have weaker faith, and it’s those disputable matters that are causing the problems.

What are disputable matters? Another version calls them opinions. We can all be full of those for sure! The Greek word Paul used in verse 1 is dialogimos, meaning “the thinking of a person deliberating with herself.” Have you ever done that—deliberate with yourself? “Is that activity right or wrong? Should I do that or should I not do that?”

Disputable matters are things not specifically stated as right or wrong, especially for Christians as stated in the New Testament. For any issue that arises, you can determine your response to that issue by asking 3 questions:

Question 1: Is it a moral issue?
Question 2: Is it stunting someone’s spiritual growth?
Question 3: Is it disrupting unity within the Body of Christ?

In this post, we will test a couple of issues using these questions. It’s like doing word problems in math. I like how they make you gather the facts then fit them together to arrive at a solution. Or if you don’t like word problems, think of it like a science experiment where you follow a process to test a theory. We’ll follow a process.

Warning: Some of us are wired to think that everything is either right or wrong. You know, if it’s wrong for me, it must be wrong for everyone. That would be making a rule for believers that God didn’t. Let’s try to do our best to be honest and objective.

Question 1: Is It A Moral Issue?

A moral issue involves a behavior or practice that is specifically stated in the Bible as right or wrong. We can study the New Testament teachings to see if God specifically states His will on that for every Christian. We usually call them absolutes.

Absolutes are truths essential to the Christian faith. They never change.

Absolutes are true for every believer, in every nation, in every culture within that nation, and during every time period in history. There are absolute doctrines and absolute behaviors.

Absolute doctrines are those defining true Christianity, and they are non-negotiable. Examples of these are:

The Bible is the inspired Word of God.
God is a Trinity: Three Persons in One.
Jesus is God. Not just a human religious teacher.
Jesus died and rose from the grave for the sins of the world.
The Holy Spirit is God and not just a force or energy.
Salvation is by grace alone through faith.

Absolute behaviors are those specifically revealed in the Scriptures, especially the New Testament, as right or wrong for every Christian. Examples are the lists given in Ephesians chapters 4 and 5 and Colossians chapter 3. Those are clearly revealed as God’s will regarding what is right and what is considered sin for every believer, in every culture, and through all time periods of history.

Those are absolutes. They are not disputable matters. Starting with that as the foundation, we can take any issue and find out if it is a moral one. Absolutes are not the subject of Romans 14. Non-absolutes are.

Non-absolutes are not essential to the Christian faith. They can change over time and can be different in various culture and time periods.

Non-absolutes are the disputable matters. Paul addresses three things in Romans chapter 14— food, drink, and religious celebrations. These are things we would call neutral. They are neither right nor wrong in themselves.

Some examples of these in our world are: eating meat or not eating meat, drinking a glass of wine or not drinking a glass of wine, working on Sunday or not working on Sunday. Disputable matters would also include recreation (such as playing baseball or watching television), types of clothing to wear (such as women wearing pants or skirts), and personal grooming (such as coloring your hair or wearing makeup). These are non-absolutes. You will not find the apostles addressing whether or not you can play baseball or color your hair.

As a Christian, you are free to determine between you and Jesus His will for you on those issues. That’s the Holy Spirit living inside of you, communicating with your spirit what is pleasing to God. But your freedom to make those choices is still governed by Jesus’ commands to love God wholeheartedly and to love your neighbor as yourself.

We are to ask Jesus to give us guidance on a disputable matter and emerge with either personal convictions or preferences. Paul wrote some guidelines for us in Romans chapter 14.

One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. (Romans 14:5)

As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. (Romans 14:14)

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. (Romans 14:22-23)

We discuss with Jesus certain issues and emerge with personal convictions—to me one day is more sacred than another—or just preferences—hey, every day’s alike. Let’s define those 2 responses.

Personal Convictions or Preferences

PERSONAL conviction from Jesus about something that is right or wrong for you individually

Jesus may give you a personal conviction about something that is right or wrong for you as His servant. Whatever the issue, you must determine from Jesus His will for you on that issue and live by it, even though other believers may differ. If you don’t obey Him, Paul says that is sin for you. Why is that? It is because we live by faith, according to a personal relationship with Christ.

Here’s a warning for those who are wired to think that everything is either right or wrong. You might think, “If it’s wrong for me, it must be wrong for everyone.” That’s making a rule for believers that God didn’t make. It is not sin for anyone else whom Jesus has not convicted on that issue. That’s what throws us, isn’t it? Remember these are non-absolutes.

And our personal convictions can change over time as we grow and mature in Christ. Personal convictions are only right or wrong for you. Those would fit in the category of disputable matters. We can also have preferences:

Preferences are personal likings that aren’t right or wrong for anyone.

Preferences usually fall under the category of traditions or customs, like styles of worship music, celebrating religious holidays, dancing, watching television, the order of a worship service, how often to have communion. That kind of thing. They also change over time. These are definitely disputable matters.

Starting with that difference between absolutes and non-absolutes as the foundation, you can take any issue and follow a process to know what to do. Gather the facts to find out if it is a moral issue addressed by Scripture. Then, consider how you respond biblically.

Let’s consider one example: celebrating holidays.

1. Gather the facts: Christmas and Easter are special days traditionally observed by Christians. There’s no New Testament verse where God commands Christians to celebrate any particular day of the year. Fact.

2. Is it a moral issue? No. Celebrating Christmas and Easter is not a moral issue. Celebrating them can have a lot of spiritual meaning in our lives, which is why they got started. Celebrating them would come under preferences. God didn’t demand religious celebrations for Christians as He did for the Jews, even the Sabbath because it isn’t transferable to every nation and time period of history.

3. Respond biblically: I could decide not to celebrate Christmas any longer since God does not expect it. But I don’t have the liberty to tell you not to do so. And when I go to your house, I would enjoy your decorations, your hospitality, and keep my preference to myself. That’s balancing liberty with love.

You can do the same process with any other issue. Remember that any absolute has to transfer across every national border and time line of history otherwise it is not an absolute but a preference.

So to balance liberty with love, you need to answer the question, “Is it a moral issue?” If yes, don’t do it if God says not to do it. If no, consider what Jesus wants you individually to do in any disputable matter. Beyond that, you need to be more others-focused and ask a second question.

Question 2: Is My Choice Stunting Someone’s Spiritual Growth?

Jesus taught this to His followers,

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)

Stunting someone’s spiritual growth is serious business. Paul would agree. Let’s look at two principles.

Principle #1—You may have the complete freedom to do something yourself, but it may not be beneficial to you or to those around you.

“Everything is permissible” — but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible” — but not everything is constructive. (1 Corinthians 10:23)

Paul is talking about the non-absolutes, those disputable matters. Here’s the principle: you may have the complete freedom to do something yourself, but it may not be beneficial to you or to those around you. Jesus and you need to determine that. That’s especially true concerning how much you partake of our secular culture. Who is being influenced by your liberty? Where is she weak?

Several years ago, a woman joined my Bible study group after coming to Christ from the Sikh religion. Apparently, they do a lot of mental imagery. She was very sensitive to anyone starting prayer with the words, “Now imagine seeing Jesus on the throne.” That really unnerved her. Her objection unnerved me, too. Is it wrong to imagine Jesus on the throne?

Here’s another example: a new Christian coming from a non-Christian religion.

(1) Gather the facts: The facts are that the Bible gives us several glorious descriptions of God the Father or Jesus on the throne in heaven, and it’s okay to think of those.

(2) Is it a moral issue? No, it’s not a moral issue. But Kathy wasn’t ready for that yet.

(3) Respond biblically: As the weaker sister, her conscience was still very sensitive to what she had left behind. So I balanced my liberty with love and avoided using imagery when I led the group in prayer. I did share with her the facts about the Bible’s images of God on His throne that God gave for us to know.

Principle #2 — There is a distinction between public and private use of liberty.

For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, won’t he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? (1 Corinthians 8:10)

Here’s the principle: There is a distinction between public and private use of liberty. When your brother or sister “sees you” and is distressed by what you are doing, that’s a signal that you need to talk to Jesus about whether or not to do it, especially in front of them.

I have an example from our church women’s ministry. We do not serve or provide alcoholic beverages at any of our church-sponsored gatherings. This is not because we believe that is sinful. It is because of the prevalence of addiction in our society. There is a high likelihood that someone in our small group is either dealing with addiction herself, recovering from an addiction, or experiences the pain of addiction in her family. We focus on unity rather than what divides us.

That’s having a heart attitude of love, willing to restrict your own exercise of liberty in public for the sake of another. Unfortunately, we cross the line when we make rules that extend that restriction to everyone, even in a private setting.

Ask yourself, “Is my choice stunting someone’s spiritual growth?” If the answer is yes, don’t do it.

Question 3: Is It Disrupting Unity within the Body of Christ?

Is it disrupting unity within the Body of Christ. This is especially referring to the local church. Let’s go back to the phrase in Romans chapter 14, “accept him whose faith is weak.” The Greek for “accept” means to “take to oneself, to receive with a special interest suggesting a welcome.” I see an emphasis here on community. Remember Jesus said to His disciples, “All men will know you are my disciples if you love one another.”

Before getting to the issues in Romans 14, Paul had already said this,

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

That means we have a responsibility to contribute to and protect the love-bonded Christian community. But more than that, we are to remember who is Lord over our church community. It belongs to Jesus, not to us. And I bet He’s not going to free us to exercise our liberty in such a way that will divide or cause dissension in His church over a non-absolute, disputable matter. What do you think? Let’s look at two examples:

Balance Your Liberty with Love

Paul would be the first to tell you, “Talk to Jesus.” about any issue that comes up you don’t know how to handle.

1. Ask if the issue is a moral issue.

If yes, Jesus will not only show you where in His Word to find the answer, but He will also give you the strength to stand firm on His truth.
If not a moral issue, then ask Jesus to show you what His will is for you on that issue. He’ll let you know within your heart whether it’s right or wrong for you. If He doesn’t give you a personal conviction about it, you can follow your preferences and enjoy your liberty. However, He will lead you to balance your liberty with love whenever any other person is distressed by your freedom.

2. Ask if what you are doing or not doing is stunting someone’s spiritual growth, including your own.

If yes, don’t do it in their presence until they are ready. Balance your liberty with love.
If the answer is no, great! Enjoy your liberty. You are still balancing liberty with love because you considered the other person first.

3. Ask if the issue is disrupting unity in the Body of Christ, especially the local church.

If yes, don’t pursue it in such a way that will divide or cause dissension in His church over a non-absolute. Balance your liberty with love.
If the answer to that question is no, great. Enjoy your liberty. You are still balancing liberty with love because you considered the other believers first.

“In essentials, Unity, in non-essentials, Liberty, in all things, Love.” (Martin Luther)

Other Resources:

Romans 12:1-2—Dare to Be Different from Your World
Graceful Living Bible Study on Amazon.com
Healthy Living Bible Study of Colossians on Amazon.com
The Proper Feeding of New Christians

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