1 Timothy 3:1-16 • A Godly Woman Is Worthy of Respect

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Every church and small group needs godly leaders. Godly leaders are servant-leaders like Jesus Christ Himself. Wise male leaders recognize this and encourage the godly women in their churches to serve as the Lord has gifted them. In the last article, we looked at how important loyalty to Christ is to adorning yourself with godliness. This is post #5 in the 1 Timothy & Titus blog series. In this post, we will look at what it looks like to be a godly woman who is worthy of respect.

Listen to this post as a similar podcast from Adorn Yourself with Godliness Bible Study covering 1 Timothy and Titus in the New Testament. (11 lessons)

Godly Women Leaders Are Essential

Every church needs godly leaders. Every small group needs a godly leader. Godly leaders are servant-leaders like Jesus Christ Himself. And women who are adorned with godliness are needed in the leadership of every church. And women readily respond to the needs of the church. Wise male leaders recognize this and encourage the women in their churches to serve as the Lord has gifted them.

I once had a pastor who stated,

There isn’t a church in creation that can survive a week without its women leaders. Women leaders do 10 times the work men do. (Tim Stevenson, 1990’s)

Example of Jesus

If you read the previous blog, I shared the truth that Jesus loved women and elevated their status in society like no one else before Him. He spoke to them publicly, taught them openly, allowed them to travel with Him and even support Him with their own money. He was sensitive and compassionate toward women and performed miracles for them.

And they responded with love for Him and devotion to Him—the essential element that leads to godliness.

Early church examples

Because of Jesus’ example and the truth He taught, women were prominent in the activities of the New Testament Church.

In Acts alone, 33 women are named specifically. Many hosted church meetings in their homes. That was a need for 300 years! What would have happened to the spread of the gospel had women not done this?

Women also became disciples and taught others. A woman named Priscilla actively participated in a church teaching ministry alongside her husband. Paul called her a “fellow worker” and said she had risked her life for him.

Women served others. Dorcas helped widows and the poor, using her sewing skills. In Romans 16, Paul referred to 4 women in terms not used for the men. He said that they “worked hard in the Lord,” an expression that in the Greek means “toiling to the point of exhaustion.” Some of you have done that for a ministry.

Identifying Women Leaders

We learn in 1 Timothy chapter 3 that servant-leaders are identified before given the responsibility of leadership. Identifying leaders takes time and observation. And none of the qualifications for leadership have anything to do with physical beauty or social status.

When I was part of a large Bible Study group, the leadership team would invite new women every year to become small group leaders. We looked at how a woman had related to the other members of her small group. We also looked for her commitment and desire to help the other women in her group. And we looked at her general support of the ministry as a whole.

Basically, we put into practice the admonition found in 1 Timothy chapter 3,

In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. (1 Timothy 3:11)

Having the right character qualities doesn’t mean that someone will be a great small group leader. But women with those characteristics have adorned themselves with godliness and are good role models for other women in their groups.

All Christian women should aspire to have those same descriptions attached to their names. So, let’s look at them and see what those descriptions mean for every Christian woman as well as for servant-leaders in the church.

Being a Woman Worthy of Respect

Honorable

The original Greek word refers to someone who is honorable or venerable. I had to look that word venerable up. It means worthy of respect by virtue of dignity, character, position, or age. So, the NIV translators made it easy for us by simply using the phrase “worthy of respect.” What makes someone worthy of respect? How do you recognize this?

First, it goes back to her devotion to God and willingness to submit to the authority structures in her life, including the authority of Scripture. Then, how she lives out that devotion to God is recognized in her character. She adorns herself with godliness more often than with ungodliness.

Hearts that represent Christ’s heart

None of us are perfect. But we can be transparent with our hearts. Are we aiming to be like Christ? Is that where our hearts are? Does our love for God radiate from us in a manner that is warm and inviting?

A woman who “behaves well” but has a cold manner of interacting with others does not fit this description of being worthy of respect even if she is a zealous church worker.

Questions to ask

When it comes to identifying leaders for a particular ministry in our church, we considered these questions for our Bible Study small groups:

Is she respected by the other ministry leaders in the church for who she is and how she behaves?

Is she more interested in the goals of the ministry than in her own agenda?

Is she submissive to authority? Can she follow the proper procedure for dealing with issues by going through the biblical authority structure for the church body?

If the answer is yes to those questions, she fits the description of being a woman worthy of respect. We see biblical examples of women worthy of respect in 1 Timothy chapter 5 and Romans chapter 16 plus other places.

The next three descriptions are really an extension of being a woman worthy of respect. Let’s look at them one at a time.

Not Being a Malicious Talker

A woman worthy of respect is not a malicious talker. Your translation might say “malicious gossip,” which gives the impression that it’s okay to gossip as long as you are not being malicious about it. No. That’s not it!

Not a slanderer

The Greek word that Paul used doesn’t actually refer to gossip at all. It means to accuse falsely or to slander someone. Slander damages someone’s reputation. In the New Testament, this word is used 35 times of Satan who is falsely accusing us before God. So being a malicious talker puts someone in the company of the devil. No woman who is devoted to God and adorning herself with godliness will ever want that! Right?

Words are a part of our everyday life, aren’t they? And they do pop up when we get our feathers ruffled. The temptation is to strike back in a hurtful way, mostly by words. Sadly, I’ve seen ministries unravel because of ugly or accusing words flying between Christians who are supposedly mature. Shrapnel from verbal bombshells wound innocent bystanders. “Dead bodies” lie all over the place because of someone’s words.

Not using the world’s words

Our words matter. And so often, we take on the world’s words in our communications, especially on social media. We have knee jerk reactions and post things that are more worldly and self-centered than godly and Christ-centered. Our words can draw the listener or the reader closer to Christ or push her farther away from Christ.

Paul had already written to the Ephesian women about their words in his letter to the church:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29

I think if Paul were writing this today, he would have included words that come from our fingers too! Don’t you?

Not rotten words

Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. So, what counts as unwholesome talk? The underlying Greek word literally means, “rotten.” What is rotten talk? The obvious answer from this verse is anything that isn’t beneficial for the building up of the one who is listening or reading. That’s rotten talk. Other translations use the words foul and abusive. If it is unkind, accusing, malicious, or making others cringe or cry, it is ungodly.

That’s bad for any relationship. But it must be avoided in anyone who is in a leadership role of ministry to women.

For more discussion about this, read the article, “Ephesians 4:29 • Christian, Stop Rotten Talk!”

Not spilling sensitive information

A woman worthy of respect needs to be able to hold her tongue. I call it—not sharing sensitive information in inappropriate settings. Sensitive information is that which is personal or confidential. An inappropriate setting is revealing that information to people who don’t need to know it. You only share on a “need to know” basis. This involves keeping confidences. Most of the time when a woman shares something with her ministry leader, she wants it to remain confidential unless she has given permission for others to know. Not sharing sensitive information also involves not talking about that confidential information in the presence of other group members. I‘ve made that mistake before and quickly regretted it.

Women in the church need to use discernment about sharing information with another woman that may sound critical or complaining about anything that deals with any ministry of the church or another leader. When you start talking to others about a concern rather than going to someone who actually has authority to do something about it, then you are being a malicious talker. You’re only planting seeds of doubt about that person or that ministry. Instead, talk to the person who is part of the decision-making process. Then, trust your leadership and give them time to work on it. While waiting, you can pray for God to guide them. A woman who is ready for leadership knows how to use such discernment.

A woman worthy of respect is not a malicious talker, part of adorning yourself with godliness.

Being a Temperate Woman

Not given to excess

The original meaning of the Greek word that Paul used is to be sober, to abstain from wine either entirely or at least from excess, to be free from the influence of intoxicants. Some translations use “sober-minded” or “self-controlled” in this verse. It means not given to excess. The first thought would be excess in the way of addiction to alcohol. But excess can apply to anything we use habitually to cope with life.

Addictions are huge in our culture today. I heard somewhere that addiction is alarmingly high among middle-aged women. That includes not just addiction to alcohol but also to drugs, social media, shopping, gambling, and work.

Excess can also include emotions. Anything that controls you more than the Spirit of God can be an intoxicant and draw you away from devotion to Christ and living a life that pleases Him.

Addiction to anything is awful bondage and enslavement. But God can not only free us from the bondage to sin and death but also free us from this as well. Right? If this has affected you, talk to God about it and ask Him to free you.

For those of you who must have your morning coffee or Dr Pepper, relax. Those don’t usually take over your life like alcohol and drugs do. Coffee is available in the lobby of every church I’ve attended or visited in the last 30 years. We’re not talking about that.

Being well-balanced

Addictions to alcohol, drugs, and those other not-so-good things affect our balance. I read somewhere that to be temperate means to be well-balanced. A woman is well-balanced when she holds on to the truth of God’s Word and doesn’t let her emotions rule over her.

Emotions can be as terrible as addictions. Being on a constant seesaw. Given to hysterics. A temperate woman yields to the Holy Spirit’s control of her behavior, her attitude, and her emotions.

Why is it important to be well-balanced as a leader? The women in your sphere of influence need to know that their leaders accept them and love them from the very first day they are in a group. They need to know what to expect from you each week and not be guessing.

Leaders do have real problems and concerns and can share them with their group members and with one another. We all grow closer together through praying for one another and watching God answer. But it’s very hard for a ministry when the leader is consumed by her problems. There is a balance needed there.

A woman worthy of respect is temperate, part of adorning yourself with godliness.

Being Trustworthy in Everything

Being “trustworthy” means faithfulness in the transaction of business, the execution of commands, or the discharge of official duties. It involves doing what you’ve been asked to do and doing it the way you’ve been asked to do it, assuming it’s biblical. In short, you are reliable.

Trusting God’s promises

Being trustworthy also refers to someone who trusts in God’s promises and is living dependently on Him more than on herself. When someone needs help, you point her to God and His Word so she can rely on Him first more than relying on you.

The gospel has the answers to every human need. We can’t make hurts go away. But God can. We can’t change circumstances. But God can. Or He may change the person so that the circumstances don’t matter as much.

It isn’t as important for a woman, even a woman leader, to be a Bible scholar as much as it is for her to be firmly grounded in truth and to really care about the other women around her. You are respected because you can be trusted with whatever you’ve been asked to do as well as trusted in your devotion to God.

Being reliable

Faithfulness isn’t just for leaders. Being reliable isn’t just for leaders. Being reliable attracts others to the Lord you love. To the Gospel you claim to profess. It’s all part of adorning yourself with godliness. Faithfulness is a character quality of God Himself. We should desire it to adorn us.

Women were given equality in the church and were given responsibility for leadership in places where they once had very little influence. People today who revile Christianity as being “oppressive” to women probably have no idea how much it really did elevate women to their very best back then and still does today.

Read this article by Sue Bohlin on Bible.org, “Christianity: The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Women.”

A pagan writer of the second century A.D. who watched the Christian women in action exclaimed, “What women these Christians have!”

May we be the kind of women that someone in our world today might also exclaim, “What women these Christians have!” A woman adorned with godliness is worthy of such respect.

In the next post, we will see why legalism cannot and should not be confused with godliness.

Let Jesus satisfy your heart with such love for God that you will want to live a life that pleases Him.

All of the above information is covered in the Adorn Yourself with Godliness Bible Study covering 1 Timothy and Titus in the New Testament.

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